How to Collect Antiques

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The ladies get a tip-off: a Ming Vase left unguarded in a less-than-secure location. It'll take all of their customary careful planning and attention to detail. But it looks like an unmissable opportunity. What could possibly go wrong?

Well. For a start, it seems the bigger the secret, the harder it is to keep. The ladies might not be the only people in the know. What's more, if the police know too, they might not be daft enough to leave priceless items unguarded.

And then there's the serendipitous siren called confidence. One moment she's urging caution like a climber confronted by a sheer rock face; then the next minute she's confidently flourishing a thin rope and telling you to jump off a cliff. Do you really know which one you're talking to?

Bank robbers, Art thieves, pickpockets and opportunists, all with the police in dogged pursuit. If there were thousands of people, traffic snarl-ups, a tricky weather forecast and camera crews filming a TV show, would that make things easier? No, probably not.